When you’re in a long term relationship, one of the things you have probably discussed is whether or not you would like to have children together, and if so, when. If the answer is “yes” but also “not now”, you have probably chose a method of birth control that works best for you and continued your relationship accordingly. However, accidents happen, and sometimes you find yourself in a situation that was completely unplanned for- being pregnant. There are no doubt many thoughts running through your head, such as “I can’t believe this is happening to me!” and “What am I going to do?”, all of which are only natural. An unexpected pregnancy can send you on a roller coaster ride of emotions that you never thought you would have to deal with.
It is never recommended to keep your pregnancy a secret from your significant other. Instead, remind yourself that they are a built in support system and resource center for you during this difficult and emotional time. Start the conversation with your partner and share your feelings honestly with one another about the news of your pregnancy and any implications it may have on both of your lives. Do not let feelings of guilt or selfishness inhibit you from saying what you really feel during these conversations. You should talk frankly about abortion, adoption, becoming a parent, and marriage. Extend the conversation to hear your partner’s religious views, how involved they would want to be in the baby’s life, and even the financial aspects of having a baby together. It is possible you may not have ever known how your partner felt about those issues until now, as it is can sometimes be a taboo topic that most people avoid whenever possible.
If you have only taken a home pregnancy test, you should make an appointment with your OB-GYN as soon as possible for confirmation. Consider bringing your significant partner along to the appointment, and using it as an opportunity to go over any questions and concerns you might have with your doctor. Your physician can also be a good resource for your unplanned pregnancy, supplying you with information about options that are available to you and places you can go for various services.
Ultimately, the choice of how to handle your pregnancy is one that should be made between you and your significant other. While friends and family may have good intentions, the final decision is yours alone.
