So your date on Saturday night didn’t quite live up to your expectations- maybe your personalities were complete opposites, or you don’t find yourself physically attracted to the person, or you don’t have enough in common. Whatever the reason, you know you’re not interested in pursuing the relationship any further. The problem is- how do you let him or her know? It would be ideal if your date shared your feelings, but that’s not always the case.
Your mother is right- honesty is still the best policy. However you choose to let your date know is up to you, and it is usually a result of your personality and/or comfort level in dealing with awkward situations. Also, you should let your date know of your feelings as soon as possible- you do not want to lead them on or give false hope. Since you did spend a period of time with this person, a little more explanation is usually required than if you were simply turning down a request for a date. When you speak to your date, whether it is on the phone or in person, explain that you do not see a future between the two of you. If pressed, you can give more of an explanation, but make sure it is sincere- don’t buckle under the awkward tension and lie in order to not hurt your date’s feelings. You can let him or her know that you didn’t feel chemistry between the two of you, or that you just didn’t feel that you were compatible. Hopefully, your date will appreciate your honesty.
Thanks to the advances in technology, more and more people rely on electronic ways to communicate, which can work to your advantage in this situation, especially if you are shy. However, in this case, you should avoid something completely impersonal, such as a text, and give your date a little more of an explanation. Sending an email could be a good alternative to speaking to your date face to face, and might allow you to be more honest. You should thank your date for spending time with you, but explain you are not interested in pursuing your relationship any further. If you’re concerned this answer will not be enough to keep them from perusing a relationship, you can explain further, citing a lack of connection or conflict of personality.
Whatever you do, you should never just leave your date hanging, ignore their attempts to contact you, or avoid them in social situations. This is extremely cowardly and quite disrespectful of the other person. While it may be awkward momentarily, freeing your date to move on to another relationship is the most mature way to handle the situation.
