How to Share Finances

You’ve probably seen, or at least heard of, the issue of finances tear apart even the most loyal and loving couples. So it’s understandable that you’re hesitant and a bit cautious to take that step with your significant other. However, it is possible to merge your financials with those of your partner both successfully and in a way that will satisfy both of you- it just takes a little planning.

No matter what, you should be able to talk with your partner frankly about money before you even consider sharing finances. If this cannot be done without you or your partner getting defensive or being honest about things such as current debt, spending lifestyle, and saving habits, then you are not ready to co-exist financially with each other. Period.

Also, you need to realize that every couple is different, and so are the ways in which they choose to combine their finances. Some choose to keep each person’s money totally and completely separate, while others go the opposite extreme and have joint everything. Even if you decide to maintain separate accounts, you will find that having at least one joint account for household expenses will become necessary as time goes on.

Before combining finances, take a look at each others’ spending habits and any financial baggage you are both bringing into the relationship, such as college loans, credit card debt, investments. If you decide to set up a joint account, determine parameters for that account, including what the account will be used for, how much each person will be responsible for contributing each paycheck, and set limits for how much each person can withdraw for personal use. If you decide to open a joint credit card for large purchases, such as furniture for the apartment, or a trip abroad, remember that you’ll both be responsible for any charges incurred at any time, even after you break up.

There are however, a few universal recommendations that you should keep your individual assets in a separate account. One, if you are unmarried, you and your partner won’t have the same legal rights as married couples do in case of a breakup. Another thing to watch out for is your significant other’s debt situation- the last thing you want to have happened is for their creditors to have access to your assets on behalf of his debt. Never forgo all of your individual financial entities in lieu of joint everything- bank accounts, credit cards, investments. Even if you think your relationship is forever, you should always be able to have financial independence in the case the seemingly impossible does occur- and that includes breakup and death. (Not to mention you may not want your partner to see his surprise birthday gift show up on the monthly statement.)

Russian Dating Site Dangers

It is easy to see why men often fall for scams on Russian dating sites: The sites feature photos of hundreds or even thousands of beautiful Russian girls, and the man knows his American citizenship makes him desirable to women who might not otherwise date him if they already lived in the United States. He has something valuable to offer her, and after having poor luck on other dating sites this can be very tempting.

Unfortunately, many times these men are tricked out of their money and hurt in the process. Usually what happens is, after a period of online courtship, the beautiful girl requests money so she can come to the United States to be with this man. This is a big red flag; never send money to anyone you have met on the internet! After sending the money, the man usually never hears from the woman again.

There are several ways to avoid these scams. First of all, some Russian dating sites are legitimate and can used safely. These sites will help you make travel arrangements so that no money is sent directly to the woman. Also, book travel arrangements from the United States, not from Russia. It may appear cheaper for the woman to book her own flight from Russia, but once your money is sent to her you may never see it (or her) again.

Also, consider traveling to Russia to meet her first, instead of bringing her to the United States. Spend some time with her in her country, meet her family, and get to know her in person. This helps you to be confident she is who she says she is, and can help you determine whether her feelings for you are genuine. You can bring her to your own country after this point, when you feel safe and trust her. Remember, too, that traveling to a foreign country can carry many dangers. Do not allow yourself to be lured to a place where you are vulnerable. Do your research ahead of time, know the laws of the country, and travel safely.

The oldest and most reliable Russian dating sites have a long track record of success. Do your research before joining one, and once you have joined, take advantage of all the members services they have to offer. They can offer you specific tips and advice to make this a safe experience with a happy ending.

Online Dating: How Soon Should You Meet?

At some point during online dating, you will find yourself excited to meet someone from your dating site. Planning the first meeting can be stressful, and one of the most important things to consider is timing.

One general rule is that men are generally impatient to meet, and women often want to wait longer than the man was hoping. It’s easy to understand why. Men are generally more interested in the physical part of the relationship, and you can’t have a physical relationship by email. Women, on the other hand, want to talk and get to know each other, and this is very easy to do via email, so they are comfortable at this stage. Men should remember that attraction, for women, is based off of getting to know one another, so if he is patient and emails a bit more, the first meeting is likely to be much more comfortable and enjoyable for her.

On the other hand, it really will not matter how much you get to know one another if someone is vastly different in person or if the chemistry simply isn’t there. Men are often in a hurry to meet in person for this reason. While a woman should never rush out to meet a man until she feels safe, she should also keep in mind that he is anxious to meet because he likes her and wants to take the relationship to the next level. Delaying the meeting too long could cause him to lose interest.

Generally speaking, it is best to email regularly for one to two weeks before planning the first meeting. This stage might last longer if the couple lives far apart, or if busy schedules prevent a meeting at this point. One to two weeks is a good amount of time to ask and answer each others’ questions. Also, if the conversation goes smoothly via email, the couple should exchange phone numbers and speak on the phone a few times. After these steps have been completed, the first date can be arranged. The woman should be feeling more comfortable at this point, and the man is still interested enough to make meeting her a priority.

Does Online Dating Really Work?

Online dating really does work. The largest online dating sites advertise pretty impressive statistics, and it is estimated that as many as one in three relationships now begin online (even if the couples are sometimes shy to admit it). Eharmony claims to be the source of two percent of all marriages, and the free dating site Plenty of Fish estimates that 100,000 marriage result each year from its members meeting one another. Clearly, a large number of people who meet online do eventually get married, which is certainly a valid way to measure success.

Also, some studies have indicated that relationships which began online are actually more likely to be successful in the long run, and result in fewer divorces. This could be because online dating encourages partners to judge for themselves whether they are compatible before ever even meeting in person – when hormones and wishful thinking often take over for many couples. The important things that often do not emerge until later in non-online relationships are often discussed and analyzed within the first few emails, so things that would have ended traditional relationships are avoided before the relationship even begins. In this way, online dating helps turn the dating process upside down, by making compatibility and common goals more important in the matchmaking process than, for example, physical attraction or having mutual friends.

It is easy to be overwhelmed with the number of profiles on a dating site, but a successful online dater is one who uses search features to carefully screen profiles to narrow their options down to just a few per week. It is not necessary to go on a date with every person who emails you; look for, and communicate with, only those who have the same relationship goals. Your chances of success will be great if you begin your search by looking for people who have common interests and who want the same things you do.

It is important to remember that online dating, once a couple begins meeting in person, is just dating from that point on. It is only a way to meet new people that you might not have met otherwise, and carries no guarantees for the relationship simply because it began online. This means that once you have met your partner offline, your success will depend more upon your actions from that point on, rather than factors that were working when you were still online. If you had open and honest communication that worked online, it will have to continue offline as well if you want the relationship to work.

Online Dating Scams To Avoid

Dating sites are mostly full of people like you, who are just looking for dating or a relationship, but occasionally there are scams involved. Luckily, it is fairly easy to spot a scam and avoid it before there are any negative consequences. The following are some common frauds of which all online daters should be aware.

Fake profiles are usually involved in a scam of some sort. There are ways of spotting a fake profile, such as photos that seem too “professional” or self-descriptions that seem vague and stereotypical. Often these fake profiles are posted on the free dating sites, and are used to lure users to paid sites. After emailing one of these fakes, a user might get a response that asks them to come chat on another (paid) site. They can also be used to lure lonely singles (usually men) into webcam chats which can cost a lot of money. Just remember that this person’s goal is to make money, not date you, and they may or may not look anything like that profile picture.

Another scam is in advertising. Free sites often advertise, claiming to be free, but after you set up your profile you learn payment is required in order to email with other members. That’s bad enough, but often the fraud involves sending you emails from very attractive-looking profiles. You’re tempted to pay so that you can return these emails – after doing so, they vanish. Fake profiles are used on these sites to get your payment. If you receive several emails right away from people who look too good to be true, they probably are.

Another scam involves much more money and causes a lot more emotional damage. Sometimes an online dater may find themselves connecting emotionally with another user on the site, and it seems as if a real relationship is developing. This person gets their hopes up, and then they receive an email about a financial emergency and an urgent need for money. Sometimes this is connected with a supposed desire to travel and finally meet, or sometimes it is a more secretive and vague emergency, and the receiver of the email is supposedly the only one this person can trust. A large sum of money, hundreds or even a thousand or more dollars, is requested. Because of the emotional connection the pair shared, it is tempting to offer help and send the money. However, odds are you will never hear from this person again after you send them money. Remember to be skeptical of any request for money, and also of anyone who claims to have strong feelings or emotional connection with you before ever meeting in person.

What Men Really Think Of Your Dating Profile

Women can make quite a few mistakes when writing their dating profiles. What they think is attractive or an efficient way to attract the right man is often a huge mistake and actually repels men. Knowing what men really think of women’s dating profiles can be very helpful when deciding what information to include on the profile, and how to state it well.

Men are often very skeptical of a woman’s appearance. Men are visual, and most of their initial attraction to a woman is based on her looks, so this is the first area they will scrutinize. Sometimes women don’t want to include a picture with her profile, because they want a man to be attracted to her based on what she writes about herself. This seems like a good idea, but many men see these profiles without pictures and assume the woman is so unattractive that she was embarrassed to include a photo. Men also make assumptions about body size. If a woman does not include a full-length picture, many men think she is trying to hide something.

Women sometimes think it is a good idea to write very lengthy self-descriptions. While a description should be thorough, most men do not want to read more than a couple of paragraphs. Also, a lengthy description of the type of man she wants is unlikely to be effective – if a man likes the profile picture, he is going to email her anyway.

Finally, a woman writing her profile should keep in mind some common assumptions men have about women. Listing “other” for her job is likely to make men think she is unemployed and looking for a sugar daddy. Overly emphasizing a love of shopping and fashion is likely to have the same result, even though these are fairly common interests for many women. Stating she wants a man with a “good job” is another red flag for men. Saying “educated” or “ambitious” might be more appropriate, and send less of the gold-digger vibe.

It is best for women to remember how differently each gender thinks about dating and relationships, and stick close to reality. A woman writing her dating profile should write about the things men find attractive, not the things she thinks they should find attractive.

Online Dating: Know Your Expectations

Online dating can be a fun and rewarding experience, but it is important to know what your expectations actually are before jumping in. Having a clear idea of what you really want, and being realistic about it, are the keys to feeling successful. After all, if you aren’t sure what you want, how will you know when you’ve found it?

Both men and women are guilty of beginning online dating without a clear goal in mind. Women, however, are generally more inclined toward finding a relationship, while men usually just want to meet a lot of women and see what happens after that. That is certainly fine, but men should keep in mind that some women have very clear goals. If you are not in a position to offer a committed relationship, and don’t see yourself wanting to get married in, say, the next couple of years, then by all means advertise that on your profile. It is perfectly acceptable to use online dating for casual dating only. On the other hand, if you are searching for a serious relationship or marriage, you should be honest about that as well. Whatever the case, you should pay close attention to what your matches are searching for, and try to only go on dates with those who have similar goals. This will waste less time and spare yourself or others from hurt feelings later on.

It is important, as well, to be honest about what you expect versus what you wish for. There is a big difference! Most men want to meet a woman who looks like a supermodel, but these women are rare – and if one does exist on a dating site, there will be fierce competition for her attention. Set realistic expectations in order to avoid disappointments. One very useful rule is to not get so caught up in thinking about what you want in a potential partner that you forget to consider what you have to offer them in return. Think about the type of person you hope to attract, and ask yourself what you think they would want in a partner. Your success will often depend upon how well their expectations match up with who you are. Remember not to ask for more than you can give in return.

Finally, you must have patience. Online dating is not a surefire way to meet your soul mate in a short amount of time. It takes just as much time as traditional dating, and is not a quick solution. Expect to spend at least six months in your search, or even longer. With diligent effort and realistic, well-grounded expectations, you can be successful.

What Women Really Think Of Your Dating Profile

Most men construct their dating profiles in hopes of attracting women, but they might be surprised to learn that often they are doing just the opposite. Sometimes what men consider attractive and desirable leaves women confused, turned off, or even amused. Knowing what women really think of common these common mistakes could help men to write better and more attractive profiles.

Photographs are one of the most common sources of confusion between the sexes. Men usually post pictures they think women will enjoy, such as partially nude pictures of them flexing their muscles. If the man really does have a nice body, women probably won’t mind looking at these pictures. If the man is not very attractive, however, these types of pictures will mostly serve as comic relief to women on dating sites. Either way, it screams “player” to the majority of women, and after viewing these types of pictures they will not take a man seriously.

The self-description part of the profile is another area where men and women view things differently. Men often make lists of all the qualities they do not want in a woman. This seems like an efficient way to rule out the women who would not be interesting to him – the problem is, most women see this as overly negative and demanding. A better strategy would be to write about the things he does want, using more positive language. One phrase men commonly use in their profiles is, “I do not want any drama”. While this is a great relationship goal, some women read that and think, “He was emotionally unavailable to his last girlfriend and that’s why they split up”. The best thing is to remember women will analyze statements like this, and if it is something they have heard during fights with boyfriends in the past, they are likely to be turned off. Avoid any statement that could be misconstrued as a reference to past relationships.

The final area in which misunderstandings my occur, is in the statistics part of a man’s profile. For example, a man might list “other” as his occupation, and a woman reading that will likely assume he is unemployed or embarrassed of the job he does have. Another area of concern is height; most women know quite a few men add an inch or two here. Other areas of the profile, such as income, are viewed skeptically. A man who overstates his financial information may think he appears attractive, but many women will assume he is looking to “buy” her affections or is hoping to find a much younger woman. It is best to be honest, but modest.

Men and women often have vastly differing ideas of what is attractive, and a well-meaning guy can easily turn off women with what he mistakenly believed to be a well-written dating profile. A good rule for a man to follow is to not write profiles based on what he thinks is attractive, but according to how women actually think.

Online Dating For Lesbians

If you’re a lesbian searching for your ideal partner, you will probably be tempted to try online dating at some point. It can be a great way to meet the woman of your dreams, and it can work just as well for lesbians as it does for heterosexual couples. So how do you get started? The following are a few tips that will help you be successful in your online dating endeavor.

First of all, choose your dating site carefully. Some sites are more suitable for lesbians than others. Asking around among your friends, or on internet discussion boards, about which dating communities are best for you might be a good place to start. You may also want to try more than one site to see which best suits you. Do your research and think about which type of service appeals to you most – for example, some sites offer extensive matching services, while others let you do the searching yourself.

Keep in mind that being in a minority may mean you have to look a little further to find your ideal match. There will simply be fewer women in your area, and you may need to travel a bit further to find love. The nearest big city is a good place to center your search, as larger metropolitan areas are usually more diverse and have a larger gay and lesbian population. Make sure your search radius includes at least one larger city.

You may wish to hide your profile from everyone except other women who are also looking to date women. It is a common aggravation that lesbians are continually approached to take part in threesomes with heterosexual couples, rather than asked on actual dates. Of course, this may not be a problem to you if you are open to those activities, but if your interest lies more in dating and finding a partner, then blocking heterosexuals from contacting you will likely save you a lot of headaches and irritation. At the very least, make sure you block men from contacting you, since quite a few of them get some sort of strange thrill out of asking lesbians all sorts of personal questions. This is probably no surprise to you, unless you haven’t used the internet extensively until recently.

Watch out for your privacy and security as well, just as anyone using online dating sites should do. Gays and lesbians are unfortunately the target of hate crimes, and while these occurrences are hopefully becoming more rare, the last thing you want to do is become the target of some ignorant hate group. You may wish to hide your photo and only share it with matches you select, and you should always meet your dates in public locations at first.

Finally, while mainstream dating sites do have many lesbian subscribers, you might also check out niche sites specifically targeted toward your demographic. They often have fewer subscribers, but the support services will be geared toward your specific interests and may be more helpful. Another option is to use both kinds of sites and compare the two. Sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error to find the right fit and environment for you.

Online Dating For Gay Men

Online dating can be a difficult maze to navigate, and even more so for the gay man. In addition to the common pitfalls or annoyances associated with online dating, gay men can face a few extra challenges. By being informed of your options and making the right decisions, however, a gay man can have just as much luck with online dating as anyone else. Most of the advice for heterosexual singles can be adapted to gay men as well.

First of all, consider the nearest large city. There are probably much fewer gay men in your area if you live in a suburb or small town, but large cities have much more to offer the gay community. This will be your primary area to find dates, mostly likely. Keep the distance in mind when using your dating site’s search features. If the city is 105 miles away, anyone living there will not show up in a search with a 100 mile radius. Extending your search just a bit farther away may help you find many more men.

Second, you may want to consider your privacy and safety. It is a sad fact that gay men are often the target of hate crimes. For this reason you may wish to hide your picture and only reveal it when you email other members. If you chose this option, state it on your profile, and make it clear that you do have a picture or two that you intend to share. Otherwise, you may not receive as much interest, since members without photos do have much less luck with dating. If you choose not to hide your photo, that is certainly fine – and you shouldn’t have to! Just remember, in this case, to be extra careful so that you are not targeted. Follow your instincts and meet your dates in public places for the first time.

You may also want to hide your profile from women, since many women may see you in their search results and find you attractive, and overlook the fact that you are looking for other men. Obviously this probably will not put you in any danger and may not even be a huge problem, but it can be a bit disappointing to see that you have new messages only to discover that they’re all from women!

Finally, consider whether a niche website might be right for you. The mainstream websites certainly offer options for gay men to meet one another; however it might be annoying to constantly receive newsletters and “helpful hints” in your email that are aimed toward heterosexual daters. The downside of niche websites is that they often have fewer members, but the upside is that these sites are geared toward your particular interests.

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